Either-Or versus Both-And (Vol. 1 No.6)

How are you doing? Have you been scheduling rest and play? Are you feeling hopeful about the pandemic being over soon?


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On my side of town, I've been recovering from an autoimmune flare-up, trying to walk more, reading books and binge watching Marriage or Mortgage. If you haven't heard, it's a Netflix show with a real estate agent and a wedding planner who try to convince couples to use money they have saved up for either a house down payment or a wedding. As someone who has been married twice but has never had a wedding and who currently lives with her husbae, two children, brother, 2 dogs and 2 rabbits, I watched every episode screaming "Buy the house, buy the house!" 😆


Yet, before the pandemic I used to spend a significant amount of money on birthday parties without hesitation. In fact, when I think about what I want in a house one of my biggest desires is a backyard that fits 10 tables and has space for a dance floor. I'm a Puro Party Paulino! Sometimes I wonder if the only reason husbae and I were able to max out our retirement accounts in 2020 was because the pandemic kept us at home social distancing from our gente and we no longer had the option to spend money on parties. 🙈


Watching Marriage or Mortgage made me think about how often we engage in "Either-Or Thinking" versus "Both-And Thinking."

  • I have to choose between paying off my credit card debt or investing for retirement.

  • I have to choose between investing in a 401K or a Roth IRA.

  • I have to choose between buying a car or contributing more to an emergency fund.

  • I have to choose between my dream wedding or my dream house.

  • I have to choose between spending time with my loved ones or making extra income to use towards my financial goals.

Stressful times will lead our brains to engage in "Either-Or Thinking" because it helps us with short-term survival and adaptation. For many of us, this past year required a lot of "Either-Or Thinking" and we now need to flex our creative muscles in order to start thinking in terms of "Both-And." We need to start connecting again with people who have different perspectives than our own so we can have access to different experiences and information. We need to engage in asking questions that don't limit our financial possibilities.

  • How can I pay off my high-interest debt and invest for retirement?

  • How can I contribute to both an employer retirement plan and an IRA?

  • How can I save for a car and still have an adequate emergency fund?

  • How can I buy a home and celebrate my marriage?

  • How can I may extra income and still have time with my loved ones?

Poco a poco, I truly believe we can create a tendency to think "both-and" instead of "either-or" and that doing so will lead us closer to having our best financial year yet. If you want to hear more about how I am navigating parenthood, buying real estate and preparing to become work optional at the age of 47, watch a FREE webinar here.

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